Prince charming!!! Etc. Broadly, Islam has five categories of Dos and Donts. (ITS LIKE HIS SAYING ITS OKAY TO BE A LAZY MUSLIM-WHEN ITS NOT)Brothers should do the utmost best to emulate the life of the prophet and their should be no excuses brothers are too busy lecturing sisters on how to be a good wife when their forgetting about their own individual selves. GOD has not created women emotionless ruling can be based. Sometimes for beauty and truth, other times to be selfish or destructive. I thought I wanted to convert but to see this is how men really think? There are several other reasons, why Islam has permitted limited polygyny, but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women. In Islam, marriage is a solemn contract for which the Shari`ah lays down rules and arrangements to guarantee its stability. ITS more responsibilities! I am a woman in my 30s with 1 child. He lies, so I dont really know what is going on. If you are as you say a devout muslim how can you say of something Allah has allowed that it disgusts you?? Please do not stay and waste your life away with someone who is always mistreating you. So brothers and sisters before talking about the chances of your husband or yourself getting married again we need to fix and improve our current marriages. My husband and I are both Catholic, he converted to the faith fairly recently. A barren wife, this is one of the factors that could make a mans reason for a second marriage. I firmly believe in equality, but realize men and women have different roles in the family. Beat her. Assalamu alaikum I imagine there is an article for things a muslim wife wont tell you, but you really put men high up on a pedal-stool, in the Islamic perspective women really are required to wholeheartedly obey and accept all the lust of their husbands. and one who does an atom weight of good will see it. 1. to grant you what is desired by you I liked him and I liked everything about him. He Thinks About Other Women honestly: 1.If this young man is righteous, Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded. good points you wrote, but in reality, you havent married. Watch this emotional cartoon animation to see how a man married another woman without first divorcing his wife. JOIN US Facebook https://bit.ly/3yOap. Yeah so what if a we chooses to aim higher at least we dont sit on our back sides everyday and live off JSA every week. Win his trust, by not avoiding unnecessary problems of the day as much as you can, and tell him the most necessary ones, at the right time. Then I firmly believe that there is absolutely no need for a man to have another wife. (fyi their needs, desires, and emotions may be different from ours but their still there). Because you are right not every man is the same and no one should follow this article (its based on the authors experiences) only act as the person you married acts towards you and follow Allah he whos judges all. If he is of good character and religiously devoted he will go his daily life making sure to follow the sunnah of the prophet and the holy Quran. My husband converted to Islam 7 years and I converted 4 years ago. Dua and her husband are a perfect married couple in the eyes of their family, but her life turns upside down when her husband seeks her permission to marry another woman. So.If the women is the bread winners, is the shoe on the other foot? And if she isnt IN love with U it doesnt mean she cant be commited and faithful. If so, what are some hints, signs or examples that he is thinking about another woman? 5. However, if you are afraid that you can not be fair (between wives if you have more than one wife) marry one wife or provide with the slave girl you have (Verse 4 : 3), 7. Handsome. Yes it says in the quran that men can have four wives, but it is for a reason, and the quran is written in such a way that you can argue Kays point. When I came to know about this that girl got a girl child. 3. May Allah forgive you, Salam, Should I demand respect at all times from him or should I allow him a bad day? Get to know the conditions required for it to be healthy and practiced properly. I am at the edge of breaking and breaking up with him .. the biggest problem is he never sees his huge faults and put the blame on me and thats hurting. I m growing alone his child( as Ive got pregnant when we broke up) and believe me it hurts more when your child grows without father. with them)] for you and you are the same for them. who were patient and sought reward even though many of them felt jealous. If the husband takes a second wife, the wife has a right to divorce him. Sometimes we should just submit to what Allah made it permissible and what he forbids as its part of worshipping him. I want to stay by his side, to love him respect him appreciate him and satisfy him without feeling like its all one sided and without feeling like he doesnt deserve it i want to feel respected appreciated and worthwhile but how can i feel that if Im clearly not even worth a days work?? I hope this didnt hurt someone feelings. My second question regards polygamy. On the other hand, polygyny is permissible in Islam, and it has many benefits and noble objectives which clarify the good traits of this religion; for more details on these benefits, please refer to Fataawa (plural of Fatwa) 86818 and 81469. Nobodys perfect.Perhaps your husband isnt a Muslim scholar. And constantly comparing us to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) aint helping.Of course, we are supposed to emulate him (pbuh) as much as we can. I wanna be there for her in every way she would want and need. could be in the good situation in which you are, but you do not appreciate i dream of being able to respect my husband but i must admit over the years i feel that respect i had for him is declining Ive stayed loyal despite our circumstances. It was unacceptable. I rather not have a car or smartphone from my husband but have his LOYALTY. Her patience in putting up with her husbands marrying a After an argument or disagreement why would any woman want to have sex with the person she was arguing with? Society has changed and you shouldn't quit your job because your husband is being selfish by not giving you space. It may be that this It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair. Can someone please answer this question for me, preferably an already married woman or already married man? O ye who believe! That is, after such a divorce, the husband will separate the relationship with the wife. family life, and the man wishes for a wife with whom he can live in peace, The Quran states that he must treat them justly making sure that he provides separate accommodations for each wife. There was an immediate connection between us. Excerpted, with slight modifications, form: www.islam-qa.com I agree with sara that certain parts of the article are rubbish. It will still hard for us before we get used to the Idea! sex and bearing children are the biggest rights of men in marriage. TO ME WHEN THINGS ARE ALLOWED IN AL QURANTHERE WILL ALWAYS BE A BLESSING IN DISGUISE This is not an issue for me personally, but I really find this to be incredibly sexist (no pun intended) and its as if the womans feelings are totally unimportant when her husband is horny. How can he ever cheat on me with the dami man. its just that, as an outsider, this article made it sound like women are their husbands property or am I understanding this incorrectly? Sorry to hear what your husband does but believe me every single Muslim husband is not same.i saa muslim husband respect thier wifes and help them when they need so please do not think negative about islam .islam is really wide about womens right if you get chance study quran or islamic book .thanks fe-aman-Allah, I am working woman, my husband is also posess good job, alhamdu lillah wealth, but since15 years iam living with my inlaws,my inlaws r very stubborn and torchering me, i am asking for seprate house but not ready . Your husband is then forbidden from a 2nd wife unless he wants a divorce. I dont think he likes me or my family. How can they think they can treat both the wives equally, its easy said than done, its not possible to love the wives the same. Views : Glad there are respectable men who actually follow the true Islam. Sex in men is projected outside, and in women its hidden deep within. I have to stay with my parents. astaghfirullah at number 4!!!! This article is informative. It depends on wife to dress well and apply perfume and take care of his special foods to raise his desire. A man in Islam should only marry no more and no less than 4 wives only. It is unlikely that marrying in secret is holistically aligned with being honest, sincere, and responsible. It cannot be said that a Muslim who has two, three or four wives is a better Muslim as compared to a Muslim who has only one wife. According to Indian law only Muslim men are permitted to have more than one wife. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husbands] absence what Allah would have them guard. This entails having respect and loyalty for one another, along with the feelings of passion and love to one another. I can hardly think of a man, Muslim or not, refusing sex unless he is emotionally disturbed or something is worrying him. Right to Receive Financial Support. So please do not utter things you do not know or sure of. We must gave been in our friendly relationship stage about year and half when a coworker of his contacted me, asking me out. Allah is watching and the almighty will give you strength and courage. Unwanted sex! Very good knowledge!! The only two options remaining for her are that she either marries a man who already has a wife or becomes public property. Alhamdulillah Allahs made it a fair play for both men and women. Noor was recently married. This idea is put forward in the Quran where Allah says: But watching comments & after reading the article Id like to say that SEX is not only the thing keeping marriages prosper & happy life. Then your info can get straight. Now they both can change that according to their mutual consent, but if there is a conflict, it is going to be judged according to the responsibilities divided by Allah(swt). something permissible, so she should not object to it. It might be years later but I had to leave my reply. Muslim men are not taught to treat a wife properly once married he has new responsibilities. Saying I love you is not enough ;). Imagine if someone told you Oh dont worry your wife thinks of other men its completely normal how would you feel?? Correction can be painful but .. Allah knows best , there is a reason for this , you just need trust Allah . U cannot judge Islam as for a single Muslim because most of the Muslims in the world do not actually/fully follow Islamic teachings & this is the main reason everybody/non Muslims abuse Muslims, u should read English version of Quran then u will understand. Create an account, If you do not have an account, you can click the button below to create one, Create new account Whatever Allaah makes easy for him I typed this up on my phone. I dont understand when good women devote themselves to their husbands and yet men want 2nd, 3rd, and 4th wives in some cases? -_- Below is an explanation of one of the verses of the Quran. It is with this layout of rulings that it is hoped that man and woman will come to love one another, hence making the marriage peaceful, fulfilling, and enjoyable. You dont understand it fully and you really should not say such things because you are actually saying that you ar disgusted with Allah! ALLAH knows about us more then we know our on self. No one deserves to be spoken to like that. I just find out he have been with man to. Honestly, if he is not willing to change his ways then leave him, you do not need to live in misery. Jazakallah khier. In Islam, this is allowed in the second marriage. There are some important rules that must be considered especially for husbands who want to do (married) again. Lets get this right out into the open.Some women might think men are narrow-minded brutes for this, but its the truth.Men desire sex. iii) If he is not satisfied with his first wife in serious matters. Men see things differently, so if you get into details of the things which he believes are childish and unnecessary he may get annoyed, and if you do it at the time when he isnt still out of the worries of the day then. Sharing his love, his smiles, his jokes with a woman other than myself. All men think about other women. Men get turned on, just by looking at other women. 7. Im living the same exact situation. But there is Quranic verse. Quran (33:36) It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger to have any option about their decision.. prayer that you offered. Just a curious question: as for men racing to take 2,3 or 4 wives but why is it that in old age when sick and frail then the man races back to the first wife ? I know someone who says he loves his wife and yet wants to get married again! Why is she told to be patient and only concentrate on her aakhira and ask Allah for sabr and endurance and try to behave well, even better than before to her husband so as not to lose her place in his heart or in his life? We need to understand the depth of the issue. Correct me if i am wrong. It is his conduct with his wives and living a life according to Islam that will determine where he ( and all muslims) will end up. I am again into depression and dont know what to do. Uncover Hidden Dream Meanings. This is not my version Islam. Please, do not incline the wife you love more.Do the justice to your two wives that you marry. Then he is not in true love with his first wife. May Allaah make it easy for us to practice.InshaAllaah, when I get marriied! As it is an obligation for him to do this, then a similar punishment must apply inshaAllah. Germany has five million more females as compared to males. But sisters. Although this dream does not usually mean what is been portrayed in the dream, this could be a result of something which happened in the past finding its way back to our present life. Chapter 4, Verse 34. As for men cam think of other woman?? your husband goes ahead and takes a second wife then you have to be patient its value. It does not store any personal data. In earlier times, Christian men were permitted as many wives as they wished, since the Bible puts no restriction on the number of wives. we can not question ALLAH. Polygamy is a big responsibility. His excuse that he needed someone to look after his parents is interesting, to say the least. Just because your husband doesnt treat you in the way (you think) the Prophet (pbuh) treated his wives, doesnt mean your husband doesnt love you. I am leaving with my in-laws n Dy also know ds n my mother-in- law telling he is giving everything u Na y u worrying I have 3 kids 2daughers n 3one is boy 2year old I am very upset in my life.. physically. There are many instances in which a man may choose to marry another woman. I could see some poor girl who is being abused reading that and validating herself and coming back for more. It is about give and take. Marriage and everything within marriage is with mutual agreement!! The purpose behind marriage was to provide shelter and financial support to widows and victims. Mock or make fun of her. If muslim women can accept these little tips and advices, then our marriages will be wonderful. As salaam alaikum, Imaan will give you the strength you need to overcome the problems in your life and deal with things you are unhappy with. I love my husband so deeply and wholeheartedly that i can never even imagine myself being attracted to another man. Tell him how much nicer hed look if he grew his beard. (3) Will become a midwife. He has rights and so do you To those of you brothers who work at trying to be kind, considerate and loving to your wives, may Allah give you an enormous reward. This is what I am afraid of. It takes two to tango and it sounds like you dont like dancing so he finds other people who do. Thank u very much jazakallahu khairan. I spoke about this in my article Love or Respect: Which Do You Prefer?. How can he trust you if you Though Islam permits man to have more than a wife, it stipulates that certain conditions are to be met in this regard, for Islams main focus is on building a stable marital life. (4) Will give birth to virtuous children. if you study Islam truthfully you will know u need to ask first. ALLAAH made them that way. And will control you if you fail to CONTROL youre desires. He will most likely never consider a second wife. In the same chapter i.e. So the Prophet was married to one woman Sayyidah Khadijah until he was 54 and had 9 wives after that." (Professor Wahbah az-Zuhayli, VII, 169, 170) There are a lot of special reasons: 1. Wife is a comforter, a caretaker, an adviser, and the guardian of the property of her husband in his absence. Surah Mujadilah (58) Read it. Did your family find out details on him before marrying you? Your right to them is that they do not allow anyone you hate to step on your stretch. This is the first time in the 20 years that I have known him where I have been at a loss for words. Asian women are used to this and don't see anything wrong with it. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allaah Thats more than a little harsh (not to mention used in the wrong context). It just means hes human.It is very important that you understand this. Source: Maintenance for Woman under Muslim Marriage Law 3. what if a woman has more than average desire. and the wife wishes for a man with whom she can live in peace. How could ones condition change so drastically? Clearly, your husband did a harmful, immature, and unhealthy thing. U just mention everything from men side but ll these important for a woman as well. By Abu Ibrahim Ismail A man who wants to do a second marriage, it means he keeps the womans honor. This will also keep a man loyal to you. i have a daughter from my first marriage. And most men take advantage of that they have the women work, and then come home to cook and take care of the kids. Men have distorted Islam to the point its unrecognisable. decreed jealousy for women and jihad for men, so whoever bears that with The reason lies in the high rate of female infanticide in India, and the fact that more than one million female foetuses are aborted every year in this country, after they are identified as females. I jus wanna say just because this is what you would wanna do to your woman doesnt make it right. According to scholars, the Shari`ah does not require the husband to get the consent of the first wife for a second marriage. She lives in Senegal with her husband and his other wives. Do you know his family and friends? If you think your husband is brave, noble, handsome, strong, TELL HIM. Very sad to hear this sister. Where is the heavy duty never ending reminders from family, imams, alims, scholars to men that paradise lies at the foot of the mother, not the father or husband? the holy quran declares that Allah subhana allah wa taaal permits him to take up to four wives as long as he gets all the necessary protocol boxes ticked. Women crave respect and most definitly deserve it, communicating with your wife is a form of respect. hello I am reading your article now in 2017. They also have a duty towards each other and must be . So what happens when he is getting the respect, loyalty and physical attention from his wife and still seeking for wife no 2?
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